As women, the call to love and care for ourselves is more pressing than ever. It can’t be accomplished overnight, yet when you meet other women that are on a similar self-love journey, you can feel it in a matter of minutes. At least, that was our experience when met Melinda D. Sarkis. We were immediately captured by her positivity, spunk & spirit.
We caught up with Melinda this year to see our latest Dolce Vita collection and talk the practice of self-love and how she stays so grounded and healthy. This is what we learned.
Being Positively Selfish Is a Good Thing
We grow up learning about the negative aspect of selfishness – when it manifests as being unkind and inconsiderate of others. One of the first things we learned from Melinda was, “selfishness can be a really positive thing.” It’s the other side of the coin, when we are self-focused instead of self-involved, and prioritize taking time for ourselves without feeling guilty about it.
The first step to practicing this is to make the time for yourself, and that might require saying no to another invitation or commitment. Then, you literally have the freedom to pick any thing – small or large – that you feel would be enjoyable, and with the intention of, “I’m doing this for me right now”.
“It could be going to a workout class, browsing a bookstore, window-shopping, meditating, or perhaps it’s just taking a glass of wine, sitting on the couch, and watching Bravo TV.” Those are just a few of Melinda’s little self-love go-tos!
Stop Chasing What Others Have or Expect
Now, if we’re serious about the self-love journey, we need to be aware of what prevents us from prioritizing self-love and conquer those. Melinda shares:
“Lots of things can stand in the way of prioritizing our self-love. Other people being a big one. I think the hardest part is we all feed off of each other in life. We try and get validation from one another. We all want to be accepted, and so we often prioritize meeting others expectations instead of taking the time to listen to what we really want.”
“Osho (well-known spiritual teacher) has a great passage in one of his books talking about how we all chase things. We see someone with money we chase that. Someone who is fit, and then we want to do their work-out and chase that. If they are smart, then we want to read what they are reading and chase that. But if we are always chasing, we are never really grounded, plus we don’t know the other person’s whole story. Why follow someone else’s story? Why not write our own story?”
This completely resonated with us because here at Peach, we’re all about helping women write their own success stories, and this provided a whole new way to think about it. Part of our self-love practice can be as simple as observing areas in our life where we are chasing what others have and simply pausing in those moments. With time, this awareness will help us act in ways that are more and more authentic.
Meditation Is A Tool For Self-Love
Finally, meditation! Every day, there is more research that shows the positive effects meditation can have on our mental health. But it’s also a tool that can be used to expand our capacity for self-love. For Melinda, meditation is a daily practice, like sleeping, eating, and brushing her teeth.
Here is a simple meditation Melinda recommends to open our heart, clear out challenges and disturbances, and practice self-love:
“Take a comfortable seat. Close your eyes and take long, deep breaths. Go within. Once you feel grounded, picture a challenge, problem, or difficulty in your life. Ask yourself… how can this challenge be made into an opportunity to be your best and highest self? Start to embrace difficulty as it is as an opportunity for which to shine it’s opposite. Inhale the difficulty in front of you, whatever it may be, in all its colors. Deep, slow inhalation. See it before you like a projection or visual. Then as you exhale, blow out through your mouth, pushing the difficulty away and transmitting it into pure light. After every exhalation, see yourself surrounded by a permeating white light. Do this 5-10 times for whatever challenge you may be experiencing. As you exhale notice the challenges fading away and become white light. Notice yourself being surrounded by that pure, energizing, white light. As time goes on, and you continue the practice you will notice less and less challenges and disturbances and more clarity, calmness, and openness.”
Wishing you a day filled with new awareness and intentions for self-love. Let us know your thoughts in the comments.